Just some Updates.

Having just learned that my account is overdrawn by more than $200, I'm in nothing less than a foul mood this morning. It's not helping that the weather sucks and I just have no motivation right now. I haven't missed a class, I haven't skipped a homework assignment or just completely blown off a test, and yet I feel like I'm not getting anything accomplished. Couple that with the fact that being on the Ultimate team this semester is completely wearing me out, and one could see how stressed and tired I am.

The family seems to be doing alright. We had a minor blow up last Friday when I went home, but I think everyone has settled down since then. It feels good to get all of this down on "paper" and out of my head where it just swirls around and grows upon itself. I don't think Dad has been to church since Christmas Day, but who I am to judge, seeing that I haven't either? We have different reasons, yet neither better nor worse, for not going. He's hiding from the "embarrassment" he thinks will come upon him if he goes to church on a "normal day", and I've been either too busy, traveling, or too tired to go each of the last 3 Sundays.

As a result, I'm beginning to feel more and more distant from God and His Word. This is depressing to me, because in times of loneliness and broke-ness in college, the One we should always be able to rely and call upon is God.

However, I just don't see it right now.

Alone.

And all the while I'm single as I go about my day-to-day activities. I have no doubt in my mind that He does have a plan, but as I mentioned, right now I'm having trouble hearing that right now.

It truly is God's plans and my objections.

*rim shot*

Peace.

Bloody Knuckles

His heartbeat could be heard upon entry of the house. James was sitting in a wooden chair in his parents’ dining room collecting his breath. He was not wearing any shoes, a seemingly meaningless fact in his own house, save for the shards of broken dinnerware lying on the floor around him. He was sweating profusely, even for being in Mississippi in the heat of summer. It was late night and the air conditioner was running full blast, yet James looked like he had just gone 12 rounds with Manny Paquio. He was even bleeding from his right hand. There was an eerie silence amongst the house. James’ breathing was echoing down the hall and bouncing throughout the halls unimpeded by any other natural sounds. He was alone.

James got up and poured himself a glass of water from one of the few remaining intact glasses. The rage was still coursing through his body and it was all he could handle not to smash everything he touched. He needed a punching bag. The water was refreshing, yet left James still feeling weak and incomplete. He was at a loss for thoughts and words. Not knowing what his next move would be, he decided to take a walk through the warm, muggy night. As he stepped out of the door, James realized exactly how cool and refreshing being inside the house had been.

The late July air almost knocked him back into the house, but James kept walking. He wanted to go find the rest of his family, his parents and sister, but James kept walking. He wanted to unload all of this pain upon something, anything else. So James kept walking.